Sometimes we are so ready to move forward — to achieve, create, or make a change in our lives — only to find we continue to stand still. We seem to be doing everything right, but something is holding us back.
It was time for me to move forward in my life. During a very difficult four-year divorce, I had been studying with different mentors the universe brought to me, providing the tools to keep the family strong while learning more about myself and what I wanted my life to be. I was so ready to make it all happen, only it wasn’t happening and I wanted to know why!
Many people come to a point like this, only to become frustrated when old fears take hold. Maybe this change was not meant to happen. The timing isn’t right, they reason, or it is better to stay with what they know. They may not be happy, but they pacify themselves by living with what they have come to expect.
Staying with what I knew was not an option. I was the person my children now depended on for love and support, and to lead them forward in the best way possible.
Like all my mentors, Bob Proctor appeared seemingly by chance. I was intrigued by his presentation. What he was saying was not new to to me, but how he was saying it made me stop and think. This man was sent to give me a good, swift kick in the butt and get me moving. I could feel it. I signed up immediately for his event.
One month later I was not only watching my new mentors live event, but getting a chance to meet with him. Was I nervous? Yes! I had learned everything I could about his teachings. The more I learned, the more I realized the universe was on to something here.
As soon as I sat down across from Bob, he asked how I was and I let it pour out of me.
“I don’t know why I can’t seem to move forward. I feel like I am so ready, and yet I won’t do it. What is going on?
I told him that I was newly divorced; however, I had appealed the support issue — not to gain more money but to change the decision the judge had made that would affect our children’s college education.
He asked me more questions about the divorce and then studied me very quietly. Then he said, “You need to let it go totally.”
“Let go, totally? How? What about the appeal and my kids?”
“Let it go, the whole thing. You don’t need this. You have your purpose and you’re ready. Let go! Write your book and continue to write. Help people all over the world like you want to. Get started on your life.”
A wave of release went through me. It was really an interesting feeling. I felt the last bit of tension that I was holding onto let go! It felt wonderful and I was excited to start moving forward.
Later that night I awoke about 2 a.m. I was arguing with myself. I wanted this freedom, this ability to feel like I could move on, but what about the appeal? What about my children and their future? If I dropped the appeal, it could limit their choices in the future. Back and forth I went, should I or should I not. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much. Finally I decided to listen to myself. When I told myself I was going to drop everything, my stomach tightened. This is my body telling me that I don’t agree with this choice. My stomach is my spot. What is yours? When I said I would stay with the appeal, my stomach eased, but I wasn’t happy.
The idea of dropping the appeal and its possible effect on my children’s college choices just filled me with regret. Regret is something I abhor. But I didn’t want to let go of this feeling of letting go. I wanted to be totally free to get my life going. How could I let go and not let go? Then I got it.
When I entered the appeal I had done what I knew in my heart had to be done, and had prepared and got the ball rolling. Now it was a process. I could let the process go—offer the outcome up to God or the universe. There was nothing more I needed to do. I had done everything. Whether I won or lost was not something I could control at that point. So why let it hold onto me even a little bit?
It was time to start my purpose and let it all go! So for the remaining three months, I gave little thought to the outcome. It was out of my hands and no amount of worrying would help. Instead, I started to my book together. I was loving everything my life was presenting to me. I had no regret. I felt free. Finally and wonderfully free.
Three months later the court decided against me. I did not win. Now I would be lying if I said it didn’t matter; of course it did or I wouldn’t have pursued it. But it didn’t bring me down. It didn’t make me feel horrid inside. I know in my heart that we will be fine anyway. I know where I am going and I know I will be able to give my children the best I can give them.
Focusing on your desire and definite plan for your future can give rise to nervousness, fear, and doubt. Do not despair. Practice your gratefulness, raise your vibration and thoughts, and focus on your desire or purpose. Let go of the negative emotions; they will not help you make the right choices. No good choice comes from fear or doubt. Focus on what needs your attention in present and let the rest unfold. You are not a fortuneteller, so why spend your time worrying about something you cannot control?
Allow me to finish my example. I had lost the appeal and had let go of the loss. I had forgiven myself and anyone else involved in the process and I felt at peace. One month later I receive a call from my ex’s family. It was a call to assure me that I need not worry, for our children would be helped with their college expenses. The whole purpose for my going for the appeal had been for college. Although I had lost through the court, I had won what I wanted for our children in the end.
Looking back, I know it was because I had let go of the hurt and harbored no anger or fear. I was at peace and accepting of my ex and his whole family. Because I thought and felt this way, I know it came out in my speech, actions, and feelings every time we met. Feeling my tolerance and acceptance allowed them to also soften towards me. And both of us as parents ultimately want to provide the best we can for our children. Letting go removed the worry, doubt and fear and allowed the process to bring my purpose or desire back to me.
Someteimes it takes a mentor to see our position and help us to move into a better position in life in the best way possible. Each mentor as taught me important tools/insights that propel me forward out of a difficult divorce into my future. A future that keeps getting better and better each day. It is an amazing life.
Light and Love always!
bestselling author, speaker, mentor